itsmymonth...APRIL...

Thursday, May 25, 2006
Hee hee... Now I'm grinning like an idiot... I'll tell you why.

Do you not think Mr Darcy is perfectly splendid? Sigh... He's so disagreeable, yet so... so... charming. He's charming, not in the himbotic sense of the word like Prince Charming, but charming in a really stable way. Heh... And Mr Darcy is stiff with honour, which is something that just makes you want to respect him. The only gripe I have is his name, Fitzwilliam. It's quite an awful name. It's like Winnefred on girls. Now you know why everyone calls him Mr Darcy. Hee... but still... He IS so charming :) I think this is what people call, hmmm, waxing lyrical, but I'll continue.

The thing about him is that... he's god-centred in a wonderful way. I mean, at the start, he's absolutely horrid (but I still found it charming anyway...) and then his character starts to build, but in a really amazing way. You suddenly realise it was there all along, just that all that initial pride and well... prejudice was all people could see. Elizabeth couldn't have washed him clean of it all by herself, God did, but He used her. Isn't that amazing? And that's the way courtship and marriage should work out. He's meant to help you and you're meant to help him to grow closer to God, so you see more of your maker in each other.

That's what's so romantic about Pride and Prejudice. Austen is a genius.

Mamm says I'm a hopeless romantic. Well, I guess so :) But that's only with Mr Darcy. Hah.

ap Pril had fun typing at 4:56 AM
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Thursday, May 18, 2006
I've been looking through old pictures. I mostly love old pictures :) They're such happy things, but then they make me think too much, so I've got a slight headache.

Haha, I looked at the whole HC file... I REALLY miss 06A15... There were so many happy times...
Ponning CSP and running to the fish tank to slack,
running off to coro to eat :p,
the day we got to dance in front of the school for our zai fac :D,
David torturing the hamster with a paintbrush,
our gay guys playing with flowers at spizza (they were seriously gay) :p,
Meiling dancing and looking oh so pretty :),
Jack wearing Alison's skirt...
AHHHHH, I miss you guys!!!

Then there's the team... Heh, I keep the real good memories :p That day we went down to the river and sam obliged me by singing the sound of music :D True sc-ness... Haha :p Pride and prejudice (MR DARCY!!!) where SOMEONE cried, charm didn't cry, adel didn't cry, I didn't cry... I wonder WHO did :p and NTUs... and the short skirt thing. heh...

Heh... Oh well... If I looked more, it'd go back to sc days, with the girls in debate, their first lessons in case set-up :p AWWWW... it's great and lovely to look back at old photos, just that when you haven't LET GO of what you're looking back at, sometimes it hurts more than anything.

But I am letting go, I'm almost there :p And when it's all done, I'll be able to look back and really remember the good times, not miss them.

Those are gone, and well now, I've got ACSI, more rather ACSI's got me :p Haha, there're just as many amusing people... There's

well... enough gayness to compete with hc :p and maybe win! Mark's bag and the PICTURES... which are just too strange to describe... :p hee hee...

Ms Ranjee's screeches "get out!", "sit-down!" (she slurs it), "shut-up!"

A new and amazing team... Auggie, josh, leemey and sam :p The ac team that's shown me the MOST ill-disciplined case preps EVER (even my sec 1s never spend a whole prep LAUGHING), but they've also shown me the most inspired and intelligent case preps ever. From the bottom of my heart, it's a GREAT team.

And... a council with SO SO SO much potential, just wait and see! TRAILBLAZERS...

So well, here it is, the old to the new, when I ignore the old, it feels a lot better, but I want to get to the stage where I can think about it ALL and be happy God's given me such a wonderful range of experiences.

OH WELL... Maybe pretty memories should stay pretty memories. But then, life would be so so so empty.

I need to dedicate a post to swooning over mr darcy. Right now I'm not in the mood... But next round, I shall :)

ap Pril had fun typing at 7:15 AM
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I've been thinking again. Not that I don't usually think :p Just that I've been thinking about... stuff. Not that I don't_ This could go on forever. I shan't bother to explain, just read.

God's plans are good. We hear it all the time but... what's wrong with us? We mess up everything that's good and perfect, complain and say they're not perfect enough, refuse to trust that they really are good.

He created the world to be filled with souls filled with His love, He intended memories to be beautiful things that could wash over us and make us smile. He intended our relationships to be built on Him, committed and a good balance between romanticism and wisdom. Gosh, He even planned the first boy meets girl in Eden.

But boy did we mess things up. I guess people sort of got together and took God out of the equation. It's like reading a great script, and telling the writer "hey, great job, we'll act, but we don't need you any more."

And still, He blesses.

Well, we can do all we want to tell God to get out of our lives, but I don't think He ever will. He loves us way too much for that. His will is sovereign, and at the end of the day, I believe we'd have been through, done, loved and felt all that He'd originally intended us to. It's comforting to know that He's in charge no matter what. Of course I've got my free will, and I make my own decisions, some that mess up bits of God's plan for me, but He's been faithful and fixed it each time I mess it.

It's been tough, and quite awful honestly, but it's precisely because of the toughness of it all that it's imperative that I get my walk straight, keep it straight, and make it closer. I want to hear my maker's heartbeat, so when the time comes, I'll know.

Fuzhouians, I'm praying for you all! I trust you're having a great OEP now... :) Promised to take loads of pictures to show me ya!

I still think I should know.

ap Pril had fun typing at 7:39 AM
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
This is just such a beautiful song. I listened to it and couldn't stop crying until I had to record... Ahhh... I'm too tired to type chords even though they're BEAUTIFUL, so just imagine.

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious sonI hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

Sigh... Beautiful, so so beautiful

My elbow is still feeling funny... You know there are people who can fall nicely like... dunlop pillows and it's just a graceful sort of... flop and they land softly :) I'm not one of those people.
It's terribly unfortunate, and I just had to trip over the space frame chain. ugh. I fell forward, face down and flat. My files and books and bag flew. And some year 3s were standing round looking utterly shocked that I could fall over a chain. They ran away after making sure I was alive. I'm going to say something bimbotic here. It was SO UNGLAM. AHHHH...

So now, I'm at home and not at OEP, nursing a calcified and stiff but healing elbow. It's not fair. The chain has got to go. It really does. FUZHOU!!! I'm so sorry... :(

I'm happier now :) Really I am... Not THAT happy, I can't lie, but happier :) Lot's happier... I'm not given to being grouchy, and well... mopey, so it's good :D AC kemakmak! God's been good... Without Him, I think I'd be awfully miserable.

HC, I still miss you guys... But oh well... It's alright, it's alright. I'll see you all around :) Pril won't forget you, never. All the best for BCs!!! Cheering for you all :D

don't you think I need to know?

ap Pril had fun typing at 9:45 AM
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Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Hwa Chong doesn't want me anymore.

I prayed so hard that God would place me in a school that He wanted me in, and I suppose it's pretty evident that it's IB...

But still... I wish God would make me feel better. It just feels so wrong, like a dream, and like I'm on a temporary exchange programme. I miss my team, my class, my school, and even the disgusting canteen food.

I want to go home. HC's BEEN home... It IS home. Still.

It's pretty strange though, that I felt displaced in HC at first and now I love it so much... I hope it'll be the same with IB... But till then, I need to rant.

Every time I talk to someone from the team, I start crying again, and I don't usually cry. I don't even need to talk to you to cry, I cry when your messages come in, and again when we talk online... ARGH... WHY? And I look terrible when I cry for extended periods of time...

I've gotten used to speaking Chinese and hearing it SOMETIMES :p, the fahmeliness, the ocassional bad english, and boys who don't know how to open doors and let ladies in first... It all rocks.

A school and people that make me not mind all those things is REALLY something. Like I said, hchumans has been amazing... 15, I'm going to miss you.

To the team, I really don't know what to say anymore... You've all done so much for me... It's been an honour serving as interim capt, it's been an honour getting to know all of you, and it's been an honour just being part of such a special and talented group of people. You are the kind of team that's worth crying for and I love you. Let's make Saturday good :)

home

ap Pril had fun typing at 7:51 AM
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Saturday, February 18, 2006
I've always thought that the radius of soft light around stars was called a corona... And I just found out that it really WAS called a corona... Heh... Maybe it's innate in humans to somehow know the names of things... Some distant remembrance of how Adam first called things by their names?

Anyhow, back to the corona. I was watching the moon when I was walking home one night and it was amazing... Its light wasn't just illumination that faded off lazily into the darkness and blended in with it... It was like a really clear and distinct... well... corona of radiance. It was a glow... A very gentle one, that faded, yes it faded, but then it was obvious that the light really stopped at a particular point. Beautiful. So beautiful.

Don't you think it should be called the corona radiata? It sounds so appropriate... But oh well... It isn't.

Pretty stars. We've had good clear nights lately.

Why am I being so random... I don't even know, myself.

G Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em7 D Cadd2

sad has lost its meaning

ap Pril had fun typing at 7:48 AM
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006
I feel disgusting. First my throat hurt, then my nose hurt, then my head hurt, which made my ears hurt. Now my eyes are hurting too. Maybe I'm beginning to understand. Just keep swimmin' round and round and round.

Ahhhhh...

drafts
chords
acronyms

can be the most painful things.

ap Pril had fun typing at 1:01 AM
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