prillywhirl

2006-05-25T04:56:00.000-07:00

Hee hee... Now I'm grinning like an idiot... I'll tell you why.

Do you not think Mr Darcy is perfectly splendid? Sigh... He's so disagreeable, yet so... so... charming. He's charming, not in the himbotic sense of the word like Prince Charming, but charming in a really stable way. Heh... And Mr Darcy is stiff with honour, which is something that just makes you want to respect him. The only gripe I have is his name, Fitzwilliam. It's quite an awful name. It's like Winnefred on girls. Now you know why everyone calls him Mr Darcy. Hee... but still... He IS so charming :) I think this is what people call, hmmm, waxing lyrical, but I'll continue.

The thing about him is that... he's god-centred in a wonderful way. I mean, at the start, he's absolutely horrid (but I still found it charming anyway...) and then his character starts to build, but in a really amazing way. You suddenly realise it was there all along, just that all that initial pride and well... prejudice was all people could see. Elizabeth couldn't have washed him clean of it all by herself, God did, but He used her. Isn't that amazing? And that's the way courtship and marriage should work out. He's meant to help you and you're meant to help him to grow closer to God, so you see more of your maker in each other.

That's what's so romantic about Pride and Prejudice. Austen is a genius.

Mamm says I'm a hopeless romantic. Well, I guess so :) But that's only with Mr Darcy. Hah.

2006-05-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

I've been looking through old pictures. I mostly love old pictures :) They're such happy things, but then they make me think too much, so I've got a slight headache.

Haha, I looked at the whole HC file... I REALLY miss 06A15... There were so many happy times...
Ponning CSP and running to the fish tank to slack,
running off to coro to eat :p,
the day we got to dance in front of the school for our zai fac :D,
David torturing the hamster with a paintbrush,
our gay guys playing with flowers at spizza (they were seriously gay) :p,
Meiling dancing and looking oh so pretty :),
Jack wearing Alison's skirt...
AHHHHH, I miss you guys!!!

Then there's the team... Heh, I keep the real good memories :p That day we went down to the river and sam obliged me by singing the sound of music :D True sc-ness... Haha :p Pride and prejudice (MR DARCY!!!) where SOMEONE cried, charm didn't cry, adel didn't cry, I didn't cry... I wonder WHO did :p and NTUs... and the short skirt thing. heh...

Heh... Oh well... If I looked more, it'd go back to sc days, with the girls in debate, their first lessons in case set-up :p AWWWW... it's great and lovely to look back at old photos, just that when you haven't LET GO of what you're looking back at, sometimes it hurts more than anything.

But I am letting go, I'm almost there :p And when it's all done, I'll be able to look back and really remember the good times, not miss them.

Those are gone, and well now, I've got ACSI, more rather ACSI's got me :p Haha, there're just as many amusing people... There's

well... enough gayness to compete with hc :p and maybe win! Mark's bag and the PICTURES... which are just too strange to describe... :p hee hee...

Ms Ranjee's screeches "get out!", "sit-down!" (she slurs it), "shut-up!"

A new and amazing team... Auggie, josh, leemey and sam :p The ac team that's shown me the MOST ill-disciplined case preps EVER (even my sec 1s never spend a whole prep LAUGHING), but they've also shown me the most inspired and intelligent case preps ever. From the bottom of my heart, it's a GREAT team.

And... a council with SO SO SO much potential, just wait and see! TRAILBLAZERS...

So well, here it is, the old to the new, when I ignore the old, it feels a lot better, but I want to get to the stage where I can think about it ALL and be happy God's given me such a wonderful range of experiences.

OH WELL... Maybe pretty memories should stay pretty memories. But then, life would be so so so empty.

I need to dedicate a post to swooning over mr darcy. Right now I'm not in the mood... But next round, I shall :)

2006-04-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking again. Not that I don't usually think :p Just that I've been thinking about... stuff. Not that I don't_ This could go on forever. I shan't bother to explain, just read.

God's plans are good. We hear it all the time but... what's wrong with us? We mess up everything that's good and perfect, complain and say they're not perfect enough, refuse to trust that they really are good.

He created the world to be filled with souls filled with His love, He intended memories to be beautiful things that could wash over us and make us smile. He intended our relationships to be built on Him, committed and a good balance between romanticism and wisdom. Gosh, He even planned the first boy meets girl in Eden.

But boy did we mess things up. I guess people sort of got together and took God out of the equation. It's like reading a great script, and telling the writer "hey, great job, we'll act, but we don't need you any more."

And still, He blesses.

Well, we can do all we want to tell God to get out of our lives, but I don't think He ever will. He loves us way too much for that. His will is sovereign, and at the end of the day, I believe we'd have been through, done, loved and felt all that He'd originally intended us to. It's comforting to know that He's in charge no matter what. Of course I've got my free will, and I make my own decisions, some that mess up bits of God's plan for me, but He's been faithful and fixed it each time I mess it.

It's been tough, and quite awful honestly, but it's precisely because of the toughness of it all that it's imperative that I get my walk straight, keep it straight, and make it closer. I want to hear my maker's heartbeat, so when the time comes, I'll know.

Fuzhouians, I'm praying for you all! I trust you're having a great OEP now... :) Promised to take loads of pictures to show me ya!

I still think I should know.

2006-04-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

This is just such a beautiful song. I listened to it and couldn't stop crying until I had to record... Ahhh... I'm too tired to type chords even though they're BEAUTIFUL, so just imagine.

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger then all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why?
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious sonI hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

Sigh... Beautiful, so so beautiful

My elbow is still feeling funny... You know there are people who can fall nicely like... dunlop pillows and it's just a graceful sort of... flop and they land softly :) I'm not one of those people.
It's terribly unfortunate, and I just had to trip over the space frame chain. ugh. I fell forward, face down and flat. My files and books and bag flew. And some year 3s were standing round looking utterly shocked that I could fall over a chain. They ran away after making sure I was alive. I'm going to say something bimbotic here. It was SO UNGLAM. AHHHH...

So now, I'm at home and not at OEP, nursing a calcified and stiff but healing elbow. It's not fair. The chain has got to go. It really does. FUZHOU!!! I'm so sorry... :(

I'm happier now :) Really I am... Not THAT happy, I can't lie, but happier :) Lot's happier... I'm not given to being grouchy, and well... mopey, so it's good :D AC kemakmak! God's been good... Without Him, I think I'd be awfully miserable.

HC, I still miss you guys... But oh well... It's alright, it's alright. I'll see you all around :) Pril won't forget you, never. All the best for BCs!!! Cheering for you all :D

don't you think I need to know?

2006-03-08T07:51:00.000-08:00

Hwa Chong doesn't want me anymore.

I prayed so hard that God would place me in a school that He wanted me in, and I suppose it's pretty evident that it's IB...

But still... I wish God would make me feel better. It just feels so wrong, like a dream, and like I'm on a temporary exchange programme. I miss my team, my class, my school, and even the disgusting canteen food.

I want to go home. HC's BEEN home... It IS home. Still.

It's pretty strange though, that I felt displaced in HC at first and now I love it so much... I hope it'll be the same with IB... But till then, I need to rant.

Every time I talk to someone from the team, I start crying again, and I don't usually cry. I don't even need to talk to you to cry, I cry when your messages come in, and again when we talk online... ARGH... WHY? And I look terrible when I cry for extended periods of time...

I've gotten used to speaking Chinese and hearing it SOMETIMES :p, the fahmeliness, the ocassional bad english, and boys who don't know how to open doors and let ladies in first... It all rocks.

A school and people that make me not mind all those things is REALLY something. Like I said, hchumans has been amazing... 15, I'm going to miss you.

To the team, I really don't know what to say anymore... You've all done so much for me... It's been an honour serving as interim capt, it's been an honour getting to know all of you, and it's been an honour just being part of such a special and talented group of people. You are the kind of team that's worth crying for and I love you. Let's make Saturday good :)

home

2006-02-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

I've always thought that the radius of soft light around stars was called a corona... And I just found out that it really WAS called a corona... Heh... Maybe it's innate in humans to somehow know the names of things... Some distant remembrance of how Adam first called things by their names?

Anyhow, back to the corona. I was watching the moon when I was walking home one night and it was amazing... Its light wasn't just illumination that faded off lazily into the darkness and blended in with it... It was like a really clear and distinct... well... corona of radiance. It was a glow... A very gentle one, that faded, yes it faded, but then it was obvious that the light really stopped at a particular point. Beautiful. So beautiful.

Don't you think it should be called the corona radiata? It sounds so appropriate... But oh well... It isn't.

Pretty stars. We've had good clear nights lately.

Why am I being so random... I don't even know, myself.

G Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em7 D Cadd2

sad has lost its meaning

2006-01-25T01:01:00.000-08:00

I feel disgusting. First my throat hurt, then my nose hurt, then my head hurt, which made my ears hurt. Now my eyes are hurting too. Maybe I'm beginning to understand. Just keep swimmin' round and round and round.

Ahhhhh...

drafts
chords
acronyms

can be the most painful things.

2006-01-22T03:00:00.000-08:00

What a week... No school, but exponentially more new people, more work and less sleep.

Haha, I know I gave a speech but then I couldn't thank all the people I really wanted to thank in that speech so I'll do it here.

GOD. For everything. It's all because of YOU.

Niece, thanks for turning up to say hi :) You stabilized me when I needed it :)

Hiu Tung, you have been amazing to work with :p Always on the same wavelength and even though you say funny things to me, you let me say funnier things back eh? :p coughjscough... Heh :p You're awfully sharp and intelligent and it's scary...

Weige, an amazing team player... You've been the most supportive and calm all the way, like a pillar :) I think I'd probably have hyperventilated and collapsed if it hadn't been for you :p Thank you for nodding and smiling and giving me the thumbs up sign whenever I spoke :D

Kaleni, hee hee... WHATEVER :D You've been thoroughly HILLARIOUS to work with... Haha... "All of your NZ culture, into a KIWI!!!???" Always make me laugh :D You've been excellent in case prep and your structure, I must say, is impeccable.

Josh, you've been a real... brick. Haha, no other way to put it. You've always dragged set onto the correct path, even though I tend to go crazily practical. Thanks for being so well... lame as well, cos it's helped a lot to relieve stress. "Friends, Australians, debaters! Lend me your ears!"

MICHEEE, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. You're the best :D What more can I say? :)

Hey, and of course the competition's not only been about team 1, there's team 2 as well!

You all are really... really... ZAI. Is there any other way to say it? Hee... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! We're so proud, so so so so proud :D Again, congrats to Julie, Dana (I still want to know how long you take to do your hair), Jingsong, Terence, and Sam...

I have learnt a few things from this competition.
1. That I am actually rather tall. It is my projected image, therefore I am tall, like a giraffe.
2. That personality tests are awfully accurate when it comes to the tall thing.
3. That para para is truly an acquired skill.
4. That the Australians have a really cool national anthem
5. That I should perhaps stop patting my chin up because it encourages people to pat my head down even more
6. Heels are even more disgusting than I thought. Not only did they not help much with my projected image, they also hurt my feet.
7. I must never wear a raincoat that claims to elongate itself more and more because it doesn't help with my giraffe image.
8. Kaleni is terrified of bats.
9. Hiutung hates most animals.
10. All your base are belong to us. (Sam, you should be proud)

It's been a great week, largely. Bm7 Em7 Cadd2

What the Cadd 2 is remains to be seen.

2006-01-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

What could anyone possibly expect me to do under the given circumstances hmmm?

I just feel strange. It's really ridiculous to be honest. Why? Can things ever be so utterly WRONG?

I think I'm thinking too much. The question is bench or room? HAI...

I'm schoolsick for sc. I really am. I miss it, I miss the TIMES I was in it, the first day, hol training, the great team, the amazing friends, the teachers, the prelims... Yeah, even the prelims... It was raw then, but still. Raw's better than decomposed. AHHH... I want... I don't know what I want.

But even so, I do like Hwa Chong a LOT :D I can't say I love it yet cos that'd just be because of hype, but I know that hc is a school I can love a LOT. It's a great place, so bonded, cheena (and hey, really what's wrong with that... I'm chinese and it gives me a good mix of roots and wings)
My class is great, just that I'm not sure whether God wants me to do humans or science... See how I suppose, I'll take it SLOW. But really, how slow can it get with os coming out in less than a month... ARGH... One step at a time... I've got God.

2006-01-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

i miss sc

I feel homesick

Heh, Pa is right. I don't like change. I love the old times, way too much for my own good.

What does pril do now?

It's good training to keep moving on.

And I'm warming up from the culture shock.

We're all a FAH-ME-LY :D

2005-12-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

sigh... This song's beautiful. Ab/C is predominant.
Chords have their own characters, and when you put them together, or out of context, they change their personalities. Like C major root says closure, but based G, it asks for more, and based E, there's strength for you. M7s are pretty nice too... They're left hanging on until the next chord comes along to save them. Usually superman is a dominant sus. I feel like a dominant sus. Not a perfect cadence, trying to help, and still stuck. God's the root chord (with an octave on a middle register). Music is beautiful. I don't think the world could function without it. It explains a lot of things that you can't explain with words. Like m7 chords. They can't be explained, you can try and try and you can never explain how they sound, and when you do try, it's just a surge from within and you KNOW the music's in your heart. Haha, ab intra. It's applicable anywhere.

I'm being random today... It's been a nice day... Rainy and all, so it's been nice. School's starting soon, and I don't feel nearly rested enough... Busy busy holidays... Busy, but eventful :p Sundays are always amazing, cos I keep seeing small kids worship on Sundays... They're really worshipping totally because they love God and it's a lot purer than my worship, yeah, I recognise that. Sometimes, I get caught up in the music, whether I'm in sync with everyone else, whether the amp's working properly, or even in cool things like distortion pedals, sustains (although they're REALLY cool :p), the... niceness of the sounds and songs, the sound of other peoples' voices, the sound of my own voice even... It's terrible. And sometimes during worship, I really struggle to get right with God, to make sure my worship is pure and sigh... It's tough la... It's really tough. I've noticed, though, that the best worship sessions I've ever had were the really simple ones... A group of people, a guitar, simple old songs, and God. Does a full band with loads of cool things really help people worship completely? Oh well... I must go puzzle this out and mull it over tonight...

Right now, FACT SHEET must be completed.

2005-12-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

Christmas is an anniversary of sorts.
It's one which encapsulates loads of conflicting emotions.
Hope and disappointment?
Joy and sorrow?
But all these emotions mean nothing,
because Christmas isn't about emotions
It's about truth.

It's the truth that God sacrificed himself for me. It's not a matter of how I feel about ANYTHING at all because it's all inconsequential. The only thing that Christmas is about is that I believe in, trust and love this God for all He's done. True love isn't all an emotion and Christianity isn't about feelings. It's a conscious decision, and a constant choice to pick what's godly, and not what's easy, to sustain your relationship with one who's infinitely higher than myself.

Wow. It's a loaded word, Christmas.

Happy day after boxing day to everyone who tagged :D
Rice and Borah, don't EVEN try. I would't touch Happy with a ten foot pole. Borah, "live LOOONNNNGGGG and prosper". I'm not too keen on honouring your will :p

Bm7 Em7
pretty chords, don't you think?

2005-12-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

C Am/C C Am/C Bmdim/D Bmdim :) yup yup yup, happy holiday :p

I'm a chong chongian! (yes joseph, go ahead and call me chong chong, I don't mind), and proud to be one. I think I can sing the first line of man jiang hong. It's such an amusing song. Haha... Hols have been fun :) Last night, Sharm cooked us all dinner and oh my goodness, it was a wonderful dinner. Grilled salmon dribbled with sharm's mayo (there's no other name for it cos no one can make it like sharm), with potatoes, asparagus and mushrooms in garlic and olive oil. Home made bread with soft herb cheese, sparkling apple juice and ice cream with smashed maltesers and chocolate :D BLISS... Sharm! HIRE ME!!! I WANT TO BE THE GUINEA PIG FOR YOUR COOKING EXPERIMENTS!!! But then I'll get so fat I won't be able to walk or fit through doors like I dreamt :p Haha, I really dreamt that I got so fat that I got myself jammed in a door :p Randomness...

According to Sir Borah's manifesto on the decorum of friendship, I'm meant to care, share, tell, conspire, and be willing to be punished for my mistakes. Ahahaha :D She took the liberty to whack me in the middle of Orchard (actually she does it anyway even if we aren't in Orchard), scold me for not conspiring with her against Clarice and she whacked me again. It's so SOOOO unfair. I don't know why... Am I THAT fun to bully?

Yes rice, it was very nice of you all to say what you said, but next time, not so loud... Haha :p Still, I appreciate it. I'd appreciate it more if you told Borah what you refuse to... Cos she's trying to coerce me to conspire with her. The tool of coersion is HAPPY so please save me and just TELL her rice. My LIMBS are at stake here...

The exhibition debate was utterly mad. UTTERLY MAD. I was very stressed that day cos of JC posting... Oh well... I didn't even feel funny although I tried... Iambic pentameter poetry, haikus, postman pat sounding circle of fifths on the guitar, random chords on the piano to interrupt speeches, POIs with the guitar about spelling errors? :D It was CRAZY. But still, fun :D Ahaha... MALUATION.

Christmas is coming :) Memories... But oh well, it's Christmas :)

And at Christmas, you tell the truth.

2005-12-12T12:06:00.000-08:00

This has been a great holiday... :D Busy, but great. Haha, Borah, you must be thinking I'm mad :p But I'm not!!! I need to hustle, or I'll get annoyed with the stagnation :) But I promise you that we'll go out! After this week, I'm more or less free... More I think :D

I've had many significant moments of epiphany...

The Big Move has been good and really pretty smooth :) I always seen myself more in music ministry than as a musician in touchkids? And well, yup... that was moment of epiphany no.1 When I was there at 7 plus, and small hands found their way into mine and I was taking the children around and pacifying the ones who were upset, it just felt... correct? It was pretty amazing... Children are really God's blessings :) They're just so easy to love... Playing for them is a privilege and helping them to worship Jesus is an honour.

I suppose it's cos of the move that I see so many people from TCT sat or TC sun service and get to serve with them... Very God-centred people, all of them... Moment of epiphany 2, was that I really saw what it meant to say something, and really act it out. The people I see in church who're right there doing things that no one else would see or even know about are the ones who put their faith into action. It's one thing to say you love kids, and another to pick up a crying 3 year old and dance her around even though she's crying all over your shirt, yelling into your ear and just being upset. To serve or to say... heh :) I don't want the superficial... Faith without action is nothing...

As for my other moments of epiphany, I'll put down in handwriting so I can er... pass them down to my er... maybe future grandchildren? :D Haha :p Oh well... There are actually people who keep physics and chem notes neatly written and organised for their grandchildren
:p That's really quite sweet you must admit... But it's pretty funny too...

Jesus You're my superhero, you're my star, my best friend!

2005-11-29T07:26:00.000-08:00

Isn't it awfully comforting to know that God loves you ever so much? So much that it hurts? How can I not trust Him? His ways and thoughts are infinitely higher than mine.

I'm learning to ease my entire weight into His arms. If things happen, it's cos He knew they'd be the best for me, so pril, enough emotional indulgence. I started out the year saying I'd make God smile every day and occassionally make Him laugh, because He's the only focus that'll ever matter. Like I said before, unnecessary things must and will go out the airlock. If I can't manage, I know He can, because, for my God,

impossible is NOTHING.

Today I had a glorious time at Boarders. It's such a bright place that smells of coffee and books :) PLUS, they play soundtracks round the clock. I read Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. It is truly very inspiring, so I bought a book of speeches, bills and declarations just for fun, and because it looks so dry, I don't think it sold very well, so it was rather inexpensive. I'm going to save up to buy myself a few soundtracks for Christmas :) I want to feel a sense of accomplishment, so I'll buy them for myself. The new Trek album is out but it doesn't sound that great.

It is raining outside now, and the sound and smell of the rain is a very comforting one. And tonight's rain is especiall nice, it's a very light kind of rain, lot's of rain but the thunder isn't the low heavy rumbling kind that makes the air feel like it's charged up. It's nice to think of how happy the plants must feel. YES, I believe that plants can feel the rain and be happy about it. Ahhh... And last night we had a very clear sky with lots of visible constellations. I smiled at Orion's belt's middle star like always cos the middle star never changes its position. It's always the middle star. Oh well I think I shall go enjoy the rain and stop being so utterly random. I'm a good deal better now than I was before. Thank you for the suggestion niece :) It was hard but oh well, necessary.

incomplete cadences

2005-11-23T08:20:00.000-08:00

Bm7 Em7 Cadd2

Gmaj7 G Gsus/C Gadd2/B

READ, oh goodness, why didn't you read?

my new jacket

2005-11-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOODNESS :) :) :)

Let me tell you a secret :)

THE O LEVELS ARE OVER. There are hundreds of positive ramifications. Yes there are :)
I can:

-go home and think to myself, "hmmm... what should I study?" And mentally reply, "NOTHING PRIL, NOTHING!!!"

-watch any number of aimless shows

-Go out with BCD and E!!! :) :) :) :) :)

-be at the AHHH, CLASS PARTY :) 4SE '05.

-look forward to PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM! I stayed up till 5 am for the video... and then fell sick.

-throw myself, heart and soul, back into MUSIC and take FOUR more instruments and a REAL jazz piano course. Maybe I'll settle for three... :D

-spend a day touring bookshops... Ahaha, why A day when I can spend TWO? :)

-go back to Sentosa and take more pictures of the flag and the sand and the sun and surf...

-get my band back!!!!!!! Unless they don't want me anymore and I'll have to get reshuffled again... Sigh...

-walk round the esplanade in the evening, then go down and lose myself in their scores and soundtracks.

-listen to the nutcracker suite, and positively swoon over the orchestra while rice and do the same over the dancing. RICE, we ARE watching it yes? :)

-DEBATE again :) Although I've become april oxide. (Ap2O) Ahaha, I'm reverting back to proper lameness. GOOD!

-get on with my LIFE!

-oh yes... SLEEP. I can sleep...

-waste my time thinking up things I can do now that Os are out of the way :D

Hee, my Os happiness plan has worked quite well :) I've not been stressed at all... Maybe except for the last day, for chem. All in all the Os have been a good experience, and I think I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything else. Somehow, they don't really seem to have come and gone... Surreal, yes surreal, but NICE :) Thank you God :)

Our little holiday was great, just that my nose dribbled through the whole thing... I'm SORRY... It feels pretty gross... I love airplanes :)

Sigh... Just remembered... Amid all the post Os fun and all, there are nagging issues... JC. So puzzling. I'm not getting my obvious sign as yet, except that my parents really want me to go to RJ or HC... URGH... HOW? What if I don't make it back with my O level score. What if I messed it up and I didn't realize I did? HOW HOW HOW? hai... It's alright. I shall do what I've been doing to get me through. I shall trust that God knows best, and once I've made my decision, I WON'T LOOK BACK.

haha, and on a completely random note, I've just gotten myself a new black jacket :) It's warm and nice looking. Isn't yellow an utterly sunshiney coulour? :) Yes it is... Cos right now, I feel like sunshine...

2005-11-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

Time goes by, and I'm more and more of myself again. Thank you :)

Oh well... The doughnuts are rolling past faster than I'd have imagined, and now that that's happening, I don't really want them to end. It's not the exams that I don't like, it's the results, and the CHOICES. It's so ridiculous isn't it? I can do something about the papers and it's not them that I'm worried about... Like Mao, I have "confused thinking". Pril is a very confused girl now... What if I suddenly realize that I don't want to do humans hmmm? Then what? And what if I don't want to do science either? They don't advise us to do too balanced a mix of subjects which is EXACTLY what I want to do. It's a really awful system... We're all sixteen and we can't be sure what we want to do with our lives yet, so why limit us? Things point to IB, and then I go and rebut myself, with some epiphany of certainty that I DO want to do humans, and that IB's far too risky. So I look at JCs. Maybe CCA is a really lousy way to pick, but I can't help it, and things bounce back to the school people say I'll waste myself in. But I like it! SO there. Oh goodness... Open houses haven't helped, and everyone's giving me advice on where to go... ARGH. I told God I'm very blur and I need a very very very obvious sign... I'm waiting. I believe I'll know at the right time. The last thing I want to do is to regret my decision. SO, I shan't make my own decision. I shall keep waiting. Hai...

Where do I go from here?

For now, back to bio.

2005-10-31T07:58:00.000-08:00

NO MORE HIGHER CHINESE!!! I can go study history, and bio, and chem... OH BLISS :) I think I've gone a tad madder than before... But hey, if I pass, it means, NO MORE HIGHER CHINESE, or chinese for that matter...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICE :D I hope you have a wonderful day and that no one will call you clariver or oliverice. So sad that no one else will see this... Oh goodness, I really AM going mad.

I wonder whether it's an awful mean thing to be unhappy that someone else is happy... I guess it is, but then, I can't help it.

2005-10-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

Better now... Better now, pril, I think. Hmmm... No, better now, when I don't think. But that counts for something :)

I shouldn't be online... I really shouldn't. But Chinese is dreadful. I need to unload, and everyone else is studying Chinese. I hate it more and more as the years go by... The exam board and syllabus planners are making us study it like a... SCIENCE, and chinese is a very boring... science. After a while, the words start to bounce round the page... HAI... The only reason I'm doing this is cos I think I owe it to lao shi... She's given us a lot, and she says that teaching Chinese is a losing battle. I AGREE. After Monday, I'm going to get rid of my SHOU CEs. They will all be annihilated and wiped off the face of the earth. HAH. CHEN HE TI TONG. Now look, I'm going mad. ARGH...

Borah, Rice, Niece, Sharm, ALL THE BEST!!! You all really ARE quite amazing :) And goodness borah, you PASSED HCL. Thank you, all of you...

Pril is tired, tired of many things, and she wants out. How now brown cow? (dui niu tan qin... oh goodness, what's wrong with me??? I see cheng yus in EVERYTHING) Now pril needs to be random. Haven't been random enough lately... I like baby leatherback turtles. They look drowsy. There. Randomness. And I think that prom is so much more fun for girls in girl schools... I like my dress :) I've never worn a dress apart from school u. for 5 years... My my, that's long.

Ahhh... I listened to the cincinatti orchestra... They rocked. SO much POWER, and the horn solos... Oh man... The first and second violins were like flowers swaying in the breeze, the low strings had so much strength in them, the woodwinds sounded "fairyish", very light, and the percs were very tight. They played the themes from Trek, star wars, harry potter, lotr, apollo 13, LOTS of big band, disney ( which was really quite cute, but I didn't like the arrangements... didn't do justice to all the pieces), Universal studio (missed out Jurassic Park), BUT, I missed Tan Dun's compositions... I really REALLY wanted to be there on the second night... But on the whole, first night's repertoire was better. Now guess when I did this? Wednesday night. What was on Thursday morning? Physics prac. Hee... :p But it was worth it, it was SO worth it.

Oh well, the doughnuts are here, in full force, and actually, it's not that bad :) I'm quite succeeding at my being joyful and happy about the Os thing... Hope it carries...

2005-10-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

This isn't exactly what you'd call... disappointment any more. It's more like anticipated negatives. First that, then that, then that, then that, then that, then this, and now graduation.

Oh well... Os are coming. All I'm concerned with now is pleasing God, and being happy through the exams. No more repeat of how I felt during prelims, no more. Many other unnecessary things must be shoved out the airlock, and I will focus, I WILL FOCUS.

My last official day was one of those beautiful days where you don't just look back and feel sad about leaving.
The five of us looked back, and then,
turned and looked to the sides.
It's so great when you know there're people like that,
a borah who tried to teach you how to belch on command,
a rice you watched moth olympics with and annoyed to no end with incessant chattering,
a niece you debated the pros and cons of the enterprise and voyager with,
and a really c*te egg whose hair got ruffled ALL the time...
booking, getting pissed at prefects, arguing, crying, then hugging and making up...
people you can sit with, stone and not say a word, yet
have a full conversation anyway.

Thank God for every single one of them... Every single one. So much heart, and love. So... SC :)
We'll all change, but guess what? Deep inside us, there's always going to be a little 1CO girl who remembers it all, feels it all and all 5 of those little 1CO girls are going to stay for good.
Deborah, sir Borah, Xue Mei :)
Clarice, Rice, llama :)
Denise, Niece, disease :)
Sharmaine, Sharm, Egg :)

such a bond,
cannot be broken.

You know what?
GLAD THAT I LIVE AM I

2005-09-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

again
How many times now? How many points now?
Too many.
Do I care?
Yes.
Do I carry on, or do I move on?
I don't know.
I hate not understanding, not knowing.
Why this cycle? This waste of time and emotion?
Fine, it wasn't a waste. Put me back a few months and I'd have done what I did, said what I said all over again, cos you know what? I meant it. I meant it all.
Such uncertainty is far from beautiful.
But I suppose, right now, it's necessary.
Moderate, please moderate...
Pril, what do you do when you don't know?
You trust God.
And that's just what I'm going to do.
It's just sick, the way_ yeah the way.
Forget it. No, actually, remember it.

I know I've tried my hardest, and that's enough for me, and finally I narrowed down my choices. I have direction and I kinda know what I was made to do, and what my heart, brain (yes my brain :) ) and soul tell me to do. I need to seek God. I need to get my focus right, and I need to give up control. I don't run my life. It'd mess up so supremely if I tried, even for a day.

I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

more than ever

2005-09-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

more than ever now than before,
same old headache of supressed tears.
Simple question... why? Once again, I don't really understand.
maybe it's just me.
Lots of things are happening and they just keep coming.
I'm holding on, learning to let go, giving everyone time, giving everything time

But what about me?

Argh I'm being selfish and stupid.
Or maybe I'm not.
It isn't anyone's fault

but, please,
Somebody
fix me.

It hurts I suppose.
Now WHAT do I mean, "I suppose"?
it DOES hurt.
it hurts so bad and it haunts me wherever I go.
everything's a constant reminder.
And I mean everything.

C#7 E/G# Aadd2

I don't love my mornings anymore,
I don't love my walks,
I don't love the rain, and
I don't love car rides cos they aren't to nice places.

I'm sorry if I've been silly and all, but this has been hard. It's been a really bad time. A bad lot of weeks. And I'm not talking about prelims.

hey, Borah, Rice, Niece and Sharm, you all have been the best... Really the best. All the support and patience, and listening, and advice have buoyed me up.
YOU really raise me up.
I can safely say that I love you all very very much.
And I couldn't have had better friends.
I don't believe in graduation.

faulty satellite?

collinear stars

2005-08-22T05:55:00.000-07:00

The glorious chem prac begins tomorrow... (Please God, don't let me break anything...) It's so sad I can't bring Abby, Bridget, Colleen, Diana, Ellen or Francine... Hee... Sure sign I'm getting a little stressed... (Those were my test tubes by the way) Haha... :D I'll be fine... I said I'd deal with it all happily and I'm doing just that :D

YOU :) thanks. For being so many things. A hopeful light in the dark sky, the number that can be divided by only one and itself, the one who keeps me going when I'm down, the one :)

collinear stars... :)

2005-08-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

you and me

(G Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em7 G/D Cadd2)

G Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em7 G/D Cadd2
G Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em7 G/D Cadd2

G Am C Em G Em D
G Am C Em G Em D Cadd2

G Cadd2 D/F# B Em7 G/D Cadd2
G Cadd2 D/F# B Em7 G/D Cadd2

G Am C Em G Em D
G Am C Em G Em D G

Bm Cadd2 G D Em7
Am D
Bm Cm

G Am7 Cadd2 Em G Em D
G Am7 Cadd2 Em G Em D
G Am C Em G Em D
G Am C Em7 G Em7 D G
(Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em G/D Cadd2)

G Cadd2 D/F# G/B Em7 G/D Cadd2

:)

(there's no Z chord by the way :p)

It hurts no?

2005-07-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

I don't know... I don't understand...
I've always known and yet... not known.
It's just... just that, I can never be sure and I don't think I ever truly want to be.
But, what does it matter anyway, it's all inconsequential

Or is it? Certainly doesn't feel that way now

Ah, just pril being random...

Rice!!! Wonderful job at dance concert... I know this is really overdue, but well... I really mean it! You floated all over the stage... Kara or kooroo is it? :p Whatever it is, you karaed badly, koorooed well hee :) Congratulations!!! And aren't the flowers pretty? They're probably dead now, but they WERE pretty while they lasted :D

SC debaters, don't let hcs get you all down! Think long term k! Grace and I are gone already so we don't have any more chances, but you all still have nationals next year! So look to those, and work towards them... Remember what I told you all? That no matter the outcome, I'd love each one of you just as much and I'd still be proud of you? YEAH! I still am! So make me prouder, and give JGs your all... Make YOURSELVES proud to be called SC debaters, make your friends proud, your coaches, Mrs Tan, Mrs Quek, all the debaters who've gone before you all for the love of jade and gold...
Yes, it's rained, but after the rain the sun... The school song makes so much sense... So sing it and believe it. All that matters is that all of you have done your best... So take heart and make this defeat take you all further... It DEFINITELY still stands.

Ex-SC debaters and coaches :D Haha, there's no such thing as an ex sc debater... :) Oh well... Dinner really brought back such beautiful memories... Jon, I think you've grown! :p I'm being mean, sorry... hee... I miss all of you...

Prelims draw nearer... The doughnuts roll closer still, but I shall EAT them, and enjoy myself while I'm at it.
So there.

AC DB8 JUNE CAMP 05

2005-06-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

DEBATE CAMP '05

OH MY GOODNESS... Camp's been a wonderful wonderful thing :) Really crazy... But turnout was not so good... Not enough seniors, not enough schools... BUT STILL... IT WAS REAL FUN!
Debates were alright on the whole, EXCEPT for the LAST one... DISCLAIMER: what ever nonsense you might have heard in the last debate for example, the revenge of the pril, or the be a man thing, was straight from the juniors' minds. The seniors had NOTHING to do with it... Although it was really rather amazing for them to have come up with such a very random case in such a short time. NOT BAD!!!

SENTOSA
was just great. What else could sentosa be if not great? :D The sand, the sea, the sun... AHHHH... And of course the lovely company :) Plus James and (this is so weird) april. ahaha :p All the dunking was madness... I'd like to take the opportunity to thank my juniors (call yourselves my juniors!) for
1. Going, "April you look so dry"
2. planning my dunking
3. Having the presence of mind to remove my phone, shoes, and camera
4. Finally remembering I had my socks on and removing those too
5. Pushing me into the sea
6.Waiting for me to dry first, then
7. Catching me a second time
8. Grabbing a random appendage each
9. Dragging me across half the beach and then proceeding to,
10. What else? DUNK ME AGAIN. (just as I was getting drier)

BE A MAN!!! haha :)

Recognition must be given to sam and hoe for holding out so so so so very long... I think it took everyone a full 15 minutes to get both of you wet. Valliant battle it was! Haha...

Of course... I must thank LOADS of people :)

SCGS DEBATERS '05
You are all the best juniors ever... I'll miss everyone terribly when I leave the school... Which is going to be soon... ARGH. Keep the team going strong k! Keep that great bond, and love and friendship :)
Dan: such a nice facilitator you've been... Ahaha... FOR THE LOVE OF SCOTT!!! smooth yeah?
Kristi: Lord... If you can't make me thin, then make my friends FAT! :)
Jaz: SO SAD we couldn't dunk you... HAI... If only jaz if only...
YK: AHAHA :) YOU got dunked. MAIN perpetrator of MY dunking. But of course, hugging the person that dunked you is really really really fun :p
Lis: SO COLD LIS SO COLD... The poor boy was trying his BEST to make you smile...
Suzy: I can blackmail you SO badly, so be nice to me :p hah!
Amanda: Poor girl got dunked so many times!
Alethia: Madness i tell you! You come and dunk me, then REFUSE to be dunked. But of course, sc debaters find their ways :D
Alia: STUPID CASE ALIA STUPID CASE!!! You shall pay... haha
ALL OUR SEC 1 SC GIRLS: Thank you all so much for coming down... I'm sorry I had to scold the late people... :( But it was fun on the whole yeah? :)

ACSI's DEBATE EXCO
Thank you ALL for such a great camp... It was really a great experience... So fun and crazy, not to mention all the random photos :)
hoe: for being such a great pres, and friend, and of course GUITARIST :)
joseph: "honey if you love me smile?" HAHA and the STUPIDEST cluedo ever.
Samchan: aiding in the amazing purchase of BENIGN GIRL!
auggie: for being the nice person that he is. HA :) We shall conquer the guitar together yup?
Cow: WONDERFUL WONDERFUL CAMP... thanks for staying up so SO late to do the video...

PORTHOS
Thanks for making it down... :p I think we really REALLY scared the taxi uncle... Hee... :) challenge being eagle!

EVERYONE AT CAMP
Whoa... As long as you were there, THANK YOU for being there :D It wouldn't have been the same otherwise... God bless you all :)

And to end of, some amusing quotes:
"Girls are all more mature and sensible than boys."

"the clock tower is out of bounds. It's not very good to go there, because if a boy is seen taking a girl to a secluded area... hahahahha"
(guess who... same one who went "girl, your blazer is VERY ugly. It's not even the fit, it's just the colours!")

"Honey, if you love me smile..."
followed up by a POI "HONEY!!!" (crawshaw to suzy)

"Was that fun?" (after being dunked)

On the whole, GREAT CAMP... Thanks to everyone who turned up... And prepare to receive a message next year on the 10th or the 23rd of june... I hereby publicly proclaim them SENTOSA DAY 1 and 2 respectively :D

Biggest thank you to... DADDY IN HEAVEN. YOU made the day good... YOU bless... YOU make me smile, day by day!

hols week 4! NOOOO!!!!!

2005-06-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

RMUN
Ah, yk, you're right, i'm terrible... How could I forget to thank...
THE MOST AMAZING JUNIORS OF ALL TIME!!! You all rock :D Really... Crazy performance that was... "SHUT UP!!!" "I studied at the bloody American University at Egypt! I speak PERFECT English! She sells seashells by the seashore, peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!" Haha :D Great job team 2!!! Now for HCs :D I'll be supporting you all as always... If you need help, I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU!!! ALL OF YOU :) So do yourselves, sc, the team and your seniors justice! GO FOR IT

all that we need to do be we low or high, is to see that we grow nearer the sky

ps: thanks for the ohmygoodness haha :D Brings back good memories :) Did I ever thank that delegation for cheering me up last year when I was drowning my sorrows in sprite in RJC because my team wasn't there and I was going mad with work? I think I didn't... Anyhow, at the one year anniversary, i must say THANK YOU :D "so gorgeous!" Flicks wrist:)

CHURCH CAMP
Bestest of the best. Thank you to ALL the fruits :D Especially PATIENCE and GENTLENESS (haiyo! Flicks wrist again :p) It's so perculiar that all the leaders happen to be going out with logistics people... Haha, it's really quite sweet. But seriously... God's speaking clearer now... It's not like this big booming voice going, "thou shalt go to --JC". It's more of a quiet realization that He's there, He loves me so so so much more than I could ever imagine, and whatever else is in His will... Needless to say, Jesus rocks :D He's dealt with me a lot over the weekend... And I must say I've come out of camp feeling charged up and I'm enjoying the word a lot more now... And one thing that really spoke to me was that God DOES want to hug you, no matter how dirty and sinful you are. He doesn't care that you suck and you don't have to feel guilty. He's got everything to give, it's in His nature to bless and love. All you've got to do is say, "thank you Daddy, I accept, yes." And it's as simple as that, confess, turn 180 degrees, and you're clean as can be. It's just such a HAPPY, "celebratable" thing don't you think? That "my king would die for me"? Truly. All I can say is AMAZING LOVE.

THERE'S THE BAND TOO :D The network one...
OH MAN!!! All of you rock :D Less than Jesus of course, but you still rock :) Joanne, Amanda, Sam, Jiamin, Cherissa, and all the worship leaders. Ever heard "my redeemer lives" in jazzzzzzz? Ahaha :D I got to lead ministry time worship too :D It was a great experience... Never knew that vocals would be so fun :D

AND, the OTHER band :D
Heh... Sunday was so fun... ROTATE THE BAND!!! It's the most amusing thing you can do... Not to mention fun too :D I played drums for for all you've done and the most heavenly thing (besides heaven and chocolate) I TOUCHED an IBANEZ... I PLAYED an IBANEZ. OH MY GOODNESS... It was a great, beautiful experience... Thank you reuben. Haha, wonderful I tell you... Haha, and we did a keyboardists band that supremely messed up :D But it was a FUN mess up :D I LOVE THE BAND... THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVELY MEMORIES... AND I'LL MISS EVERYONE! Even if you all call me dory... :)

AH, AND ALSO, THE POTENTIAL BAND
Hey, it's on ya? After Os, we go practise and join school of rock! haha... This is so insane :)

Capitalist pig

2005-06-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

RMUN
has been great... A little annoying at some points, but on the whole great :)

TEAM SC 2005: GREAT JOB... Sharm, thank you so much for making it down on such short notice... Pig, thanks for being sporting enough to be Svetlana, Dil, for doing so much, and Nat, well... For being nat :p

THE SECURITY COUNCIL!!!: UK, USA, China, France, Japan, Tanzania, Brazil, Romania, Benin, Liberia, Denmark, Argentina, Algeria and The philipines, thanks for making these 2 days amazing...

UK, BERN: Hey... It was great, it was fun, it was humorous... What more can we ask for? :D

USA, SHIV: Like I said, it's been wonderful working with you :) CONGRATS!!!

BOTH BERN AND SHIV: I have a rather incriminating picture :p Hey, if we happen to all be at NUS's MUN, WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!

SAM: thanks for thanking me hee :) Double congrats to you!

THE FARMING IMPLEMENT: CONGRATULATIONS! SO HAPPY FOR YOU ALL :D

AUGGIE: MY FEET. But also, congrats and enjoy the books :D

JENN, AUYONG, TERENCE, SAM, AND WHOEVER ELSE: THANK YOU. Not the same council, but you all contributed to a great 2 days...

RMUN 2005 has been a success... Fun, intriguing, stimulating, and highly entertaining...

ZE RUSSIANS VOULD LIKE TO THAHNK VODKA AS VELL and stress that VE ARE NOTE COMMUNIST, JUST NON-CAH-PI-TAH-LEEST. Zat is all. Sank yoh.
-with love, the Russian delegation.

BAND CONCERT
Not bad, not bad... We had fun... Me, listening to the horns and trombones, the other two... sleeping, singing bass melodies and bouncing to them, whacking each other and playing with the trophy... We got a lot of exercise as well... THANK YOU AUGGIE for changing directions 5 times, but then, we must give him some credit, cos he DID get us there at the end :D MY FEET!!! Porthos, nice present? Haha... Tea, earl grey, hot :) Amusing new name eh?

Well, Singapore's really pretty. I like it :D Beautiful night it was...

Here's to trinity

no more school!!! til 2 weeks later

2005-06-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

School's finally out, and I can finally give myself a good break, so I'm online. And guess what? I don't feel like being online. In fact, I feel like studying... Or stoning. I think I should choose the latter since it IS my self-delegated rest day... But then! Ahhh... This is not good. I think I must go improve on my health by stoning...

Ahaha :D One thing though, the network band is wonderful... But we still can't find an electric guitarist...

James is still plagued by the splinter... What shall I do with him?

Alright, I'm being so incredibly random I almost can't believe it myself. It's time to go stone...

bliss... :)

the stupid chopstick

2005-06-07T02:00:00.000-07:00

Being in school every day of the hols is deliterious to health. I'm not stoning, sleeping, smiling or talking enough, because you can't do any of these in a lecture. People will think you're mad. Isn't that just so annoying? Well, just a few more days to go, and it'll be a little more of a holiday :p Right now, I need to destress so I'm going to type about silly things.

I have discovered a splinter inside James. It's rather large and I tried to remove it with the sharp sharp chopsticks we had during seminar last year... The ab intra chopsticks. And to my horror, when I was happily poking away at the splinter with one of the chopsticks, the whole thing fell through james' soundhole. So I had to shake it out. It was most disconcerting. James is quite a small guitar and getting the silly chopstick out was not very easy. So anyhow, the chopstick came free, but the splinter's still there. I went to look at this very intriguing website to see if it could give me better ideas on how to remove splinters, "Fret Not Guitar Repair: Care and Repair of Fretted Instruments". There was nothing. So any ideas? The bass strings are making a funny rattling sound too... Poor poor James...:(

I am due for temporary retirement from the band next month, just until Os are over. How depressing. Argh, don't want to think about it now.

Well, I should go study now. Back to WWII! At least history's a nice subject. I don't know how I'll manage the dreaded... HIGHER CHINESE. AHHHHHH!!!

the doughnut

2005-05-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

We have the bestest band on earth :)
Rehearsal ended late... I'm sleepy... But can't sleep...

Technically speaking, these are the hols. Yeah right. It's a little depressing to know you have to be in school every day of the first half of the June holidays... But I'm oddly feeling very very motivated to study and do loads of work. Fine, now I'm slacking :p but that's because I worked hard today... yawn... Oh, and Mrs Neoh's home!!! :) Glad to have her back...

The CA grades shook me up a bit... I expected them but it's still shocking. I told myself all my time from January til end April would go to debate and well, I still think it's worth it. My team is worth every mark I lost from the silly chinese tests. And chem tests. And bio tests. And physics tests. You get the idea... BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT. I don't care what people think. I'm just happy sc debate made it this far this year, and that we've all become closer. What's not doing so well when you think about lovely pair of yellow and green slipper bottles :) Or a team member telling you "thank you" or gaining their friendship and respect (pril hopes so :p)?

Well, at the same time, I might have told myself CA didn't matter because I really wanted to give debate as much as possible. I promise myself better grades, the best I can give, because, now the real race begins. The DOUGHNUT race. Isn't it disgusting? But we have to run it all the same. I will run it and while I'm at it I might as well run it well.

And run it well, I will.

And I'm even going to try enjoying running it. GRINNING all the way! :) I shall be a happy person in my grad year.

God give me strength to cope, joy to, well be joyful :D, and peace so I won't have a nervous breakdown or go into shock.

Oh, just on an utterly random note, I've found many things that make me happy :) Niece and Borah? I DO shop. But I shop for different things :p
PLANT SHOPPING!!! It rocks... Support Far East Flora! Potted daisies and sunflowers...
GOING TO POPULAR'S STATIONERY SECTION :p and buying clear plastic folders and random things like... plastic folders :p oh oh oh!!! And big brown envelopes... They're immensely fun to choose...
LOOKING ROUND SPOTLIGHT! This is supremely fun... Because there's so much stuff... Like wool, and wood, and needles, and string, and paint, and something very intriguing called the glue gun? :p

You know what? I think the doughnut is making me go a little mad. I should go study now... Argh. MOE you have no idea...

2005-05-23T04:37:00.000-07:00

James James James!!!

Fingers are peeling and they look ugly, but I know it's worth it...

Kids' church encounter camp was great :D I LOVE KIDS!!!!!!! AHHHH! :D The sound system was awful and I went soundless 4 times and I had to jack into the guitar amp, but it didn't matter at all because worship was still great... :p REALLY IT WAS!!! The kids were wonderful... I really wanted to record them singing! But then I couldn't... You can really see them burning with passion for God... I believe this is a generation that's going to live completely for God, a generation that seeks God's face. The sincerity you see in them when they go, "I'm sorry God," and cry... Just to see them really worship, it just touches your heart... And thank God, no one's called me jie jie dory this round... :p Kids rock... :D Thank You God for all the people... the ultra qian bian one, the leaders, pastor yewlin, pastor linda, uncle jason, and reuben for being bored and stoning with me :D Of course, thank God for being God and for all the kids... :D

Ah... Sleepover :D Thank you borah, rice, niece and sharm... and james :p heh... Last sleepover we're going to have until after Os... stupid doughnut.

Borah... still as mad as ever I see :p Bringing back the nice memories of toothbrush terror!!! :p
Rice... WHY WON'T YOU TELL??? So secretive and cryptic... hai... 3am you know 3 am!!!
Niece!!! DON'T think about it anymore... Tell princess amelia that if anything happens to you... he is the deadest person on earth. We'll set happy on him.
Sharm... Our club needs a name... :p And yes, you are never sleeping... Just closing your eyes... "I'm resting... I'm still listening... NO! I'm not tired at all... *yawn*... not at all"
oh... sunshine: BAD BUNNY!!!

Heh... I'm going to miss all of you... Hai...

and yes. I'm still holding onto your present.

well... here we go again

2005-05-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

And it hurts.

All over again.

8th? 20th? worst of the better?

Ah well... SC. I believe one year we'll see you all on finals night. Not as spectators, feeling all the excitement that built up for years and years, and then BANG, realizing the dream we've had. Team of 2006... Don't give up. NEVER give up. I believe next year will be a SPECIAL year. Can feel it :D Just keep pushing. You have the drive, passion, hopes and well-wishes of ALL the teams before you. And such a team, where all are fighting together, cannot be defeated.

I know I'm meant to stop feeling this way cos it's all silly... But sometimes I really ask why? I put in so much and it feels as if everything's gone out the airlock.
But then
I know it hasn't.
And then again
It feels as if it has.
you aren't helping it either

Let me laugh again, let me laugh please...

I'll get over it. I know I will...

At the end of the day, I thank God for it all... It's gonna be alright.

to the crappybara, the housewife and the Egg: don't feel sad anymore... It makes us all sad. Smile k? I'll be praying...
I'll be there for you
and
You'll be in my heart
Always...
Don't let it all go
love you all

We must keep the sad things far far away. They aren't good for health. Pastor Linda wants to relieve me of duty soon... So I can start studying for the big doughnut... Isn't it early? Fine. Not really... And I didn't even get to take one last picture with my band!!! I FORGOT all about that... And they took so many of me...
Hai... I'll miss playing with all the lame people. Even if they call me dory. ah well... that wasn't happy either was it? But of course there are other things... :D

Thanks so much to the wonderful coaches for the wonderful dinner... Singapore's real pretty... The stars are nice...

Well well well... I shall be off then.

Here's to our team.

Catharsis

2005-04-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Amusing... Come to think of how much and yet how little we've gone through this year. It doesn't seem like a lot, yet it does. It was a lot. It IS a lot. It's not that much. I'm being schiz... Bad april. STOP APRIL...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........

Alright, now that I'm done with the angsty bit... I'd like to say CONGRATS to sc's y14 team!!! So what if you all aren't in the finals? Does it make a difference? Not at all!!! I still love you all and I'm still proud of every single one of you :p To have made it this far... You have outdone your seniors and so, do we see a trend? :p A precedent you all set? That the teams that come after will be able to recover our shattered dream? Overwrite it with their own new hopes and achievements...

Well, that's not what matters.
Every new team will bring with it its own team spirit,
its own unique bond,
its own people,
souls,
stories,
scandals? :) coughcough
relationships
friends...
yes, and friends

No fullstop there, there's no end to that.
I'm just being utterly random and nostalgic here...
I'll stop soon... I know I will, but for now, just let me
let me
let me think and feel it all again...

The dearest sc teams of 2002-2005, I love you so much... (this includes SHIRIN and LARISSA!!! :p Don't EVER think I've forgotten!!! Cause I haven't... I never will :p I'll go talk to that little doggie you all gave me last last year :p)

Ah well... That's enough of my randomness and rambling...

It;s a little unsettling to have half the amount of hair you had before... I just told myself that I'd never forgive myself if I just got out of the hair dresser's without discovering something new... SO. I said, "okay, mamm, can we cut it short? As in SHORT?" hee... So, now I know how I look with short hair, finally, after 10 years, my hair is short again.

Look now, I can't even type anything without ending up in aimlessness... This is not good. It's your fault.

Hey, and one last thing, be nice to prefects. Please? We're trying our best, and we're working on it. Just make it a little easier on us... please.......
dysbim?

2005-04-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

I couldn't bring myself to write about this until now. I suppose I've been sulky and annoying about it... Trying to forget and forgetting sometimes and remembering at others. Well... Things are like that aren't they?

When they announced the verdict...
I couldn't feel.
I got back, slept, woke up, then it hit me... It had ended...
How on EARTH could it have ended...
4 years and just like that?

I DIDN'T WANT IT TO END LIKE THIS!!!

Just a dull ache
Like supressed tears
I can't feel it and yet I can feel it so much...
And the supressed tears weren't so supressed any longer...
Emotionless pain hurts more than just painful pain... When you let go and cry your heart out... like round 3...

Hope is directly proportional to disappointment?
Perhaps.

But if we don't hope on, where's the joy in life...

Still it feels lousy... How'd it feel... My last debate?

The last time I'd wear the blazer for sc debate

The last time I'd feel awful about disappointing my school. (maybe not the last time)

The last time I'd be a speaker in t1

The last time I'd pray with them as their capt ( I promise i'll come back and pray some more...)

The last time I'd feel as much as I do now.

This was my last debate for sc...

Strange how it seems that 4 years have culminated in 9 mins of speech and a few seconds for the adjudicator to say " the debate went to the..." And. That. Was. It.

4 years
first time in the lit lang room asking naz, "what's a... clari?"
broken telephone...
getting scolded for not doing my research
wearing my blazer for the first time
learning how to tie a tie
writing my first case
Saying goodbye to hester, naz, and jon...
getting ranking
holding hands waiting for verdicts
WINNING HCs...
crying
laughing
crying again
and laughing again and again
spending all that time with a group of wonderful people...

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT ENDS WITH THAT ONE NIGHT WHEN YOU LOSE...
but at the same time, I feel as if we lost so much... That everything just didn't matter...

But then again, in the midst of all the forlorn looks,
there
is
still

hope

memories

The competition might have ended but the team doesn't... We lost the shield, but we keep the love and the friendship.
20 years down the road, who'll care who won JGs 2005? Who'll really care about the best speakers? It all won't really matter. As for us, we'll just keep the wonderful memories... We'll look back and remember us... All of us :D

All our hopes
dreams
memories
tears
laughter

I'll remember... I'll look back 20 years from now and go... It was all worth it...

Here's to SC Debate 2005:
GRACE SUM
TAN YUAN KHENG
DANIELLE HAN
KRISTI HOW
JAZLYN CHUA
LISABELLE TAY
NATALIE YEO
AMANDA SUN
ALIA CHUA
SUSANNAH WANG
ALETHIA TAN
JON
XUWEN
MRS TAN :)

my team

No. OUR team :D

I'm going to look back one day and see all of you doing great without me and grace around... And I tell you I'll be so so so proud... I know you all will be great... Just remember the crazed rabbit of a team mate you all had once upon a time k? :D And just know, that I will miss sc debate so much... Love you all...

It's alright... It's alright

quarts...

2005-04-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

It still hurts? Maybe just a little, but I've gotten over it more or less :D I'm the same happy happy happy person :D Alright then... Here we go SC05... Quarts :D No fear! We'll do great. I know :D

But I also know there's no way we can win this on our own strength. We need to trust in God and do our best too. Let's surrender this round to God and let Him do what He thinks is best, cos that's how things work out for our own good :D Pray for the team k!!! That we'll stay united, strong, passionate, committed and happy working together... Constant prayer, and God will see us through. Debate isn't about beating your opponents or how good it feels to see them lose... It's never been about that.

It's to see that we grow nearer the sky

Give it all you've got, trust God for the best and just go. I love you all... No matter what happens, we're always the greatest sc debate team of 2005. BELIEVE OK GIRLS!!!!!!!! I know we can... And if we can't, I know GOD CAN!!!

To a certain someone who's feeling down now... Hey... CHIN UP K!!! I'm here for you if you need me and it'll all pass... Remember what I told you today? Things always start out like that but remember, deep down, we all still love you :D You know who you are...
And of course to anyone who's been helping us... praying for us... Hoping for us... Thank you so much... You're appreciated :D

IBIY... :p

2005-04-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Ah well... We made it :D I hyperventilated... And was almost going to get down on my knees and thank God but then decided it might be a little... inappropriate in the middle of the hall :D So we settled for praying and the school cheer... :D

I dunno what happened to me today... I'm so sorry to everyone involved in the debate... I behaved... like a sulky targ in a real bad mood... ARGH... I'm sorry to RI2 cos I was sulking a little too much ( and no one was to blame... I just wanted to sulk), I'm sorry I cried... When I keep telling my team to try their best not to cry... I feel like an idiot... I ended up crying instead... Ah, oh well... Don't learn from me... It was just a real awful way to end round 3...

Ah, but on a happier note!!! :D (CHANGE SUBJECT!!!) We're into quarts and really really really... THANK YOU GOD!!! Thank You so so much :D For the friends. The team... Grace, YK, Suzy, Amanda, Dan, Kristi, Jaz, Lis, Nat Yeo... I really praise and thank God for all of you and that He's let me be in this team, with you wonderful, amazing people... :D Thank God for you :D I love you all and I'm proud (very proud) of you!!! :D Hee hee... I'm very high I think... Loads of other things to thank God for too! The pretty (albeit BIG) cake, the wonderful friends (those who brought spongebob hats and sang funny songs :p Have YOU ridden the Hasselhoff? :p), those who're trying to market school concert tickets, those who played a wonderful April fool's joke on me and turned up for the debate telling me they couldn't make it down. Haha :D Thank you so much... You all have made my life so wonderful and I wake up, facing each new day knowing that you all are always there... I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU :D ABCDE!!!!!

WE MADE IT!!!

toby's looking for you...

2005-03-24T03:14:00.000-08:00

Today, I had a nice thought.

I thought it'd be nice if I could eat leaves. Don't you think so? I wouldn't need to pay for meals, I'd get paid for having them, (like a gardener), and leaves do look so healthy and crunchy and green don't they?

Why on earth did I say that... I fear Amaths has done strange things to my brain... ah... well, forget it, it's still a nice thought. leaves...random. So utterly random...

Haha, Borah and rice... It was so nice to go out today... At least 3 of us could make it and that's an improvement... We're all so busy! Especially sharm cos of everything... and now niece with syf and me during certain jg weeks then rice cos of IT and syf... AH... I wish we could go back to sec 1... And stay in the same school for four more glorious years... Live through malacca again, obs (stupid jgs r2...), talent time (properly this round :D),

being burped at by borah,

tell rice she's not fat again,

talk crazy trek stuff with niece,

watch sharm GLOW with what's that special sound? humming is it? :D

and work more feng shui with the water bottle and racket...

Well, the fact is that, the time has passed... BUT! There is still lots more to come... So here's to ABCDE.

Making memories :D *I'll be there for you*

To the amazing juniors that did their best and put up such a "valiant fight" (if I may quote fifi :p), you all have no idea how darn proud I am of all of you... How heartbreaking it was to see you guys cry, and how happy I've been working with you... I'll always love you and I'll always be behind you... :D For now, let's just forget what happened, don't let things get you down, and look at the goal... JGs JGs JGs JGs JGs... On such a lovely day too :p MY day :p Oh, and dan, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! :D

and to a certain person out there who feels like a stranded starship, you aren't stranded... so do please smile? :D

let it be... please?

2005-03-22T05:28:00.000-08:00

You know...

I said I wanted to scream

But now when I think about it
LOGICALLY as Tuvok would say

It's not that bad after all

And I'm fine now. Really I am. Maybe not THAT fine. But fine enough.
I'm serious.

I just got another of Joshua Harris' books :D Good one it is :D And it's not for loan yet. Haha :D

let it be... please?

2005-03-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

I think I've got a crush on a distortion pedal...

Help me... :D

Maybe I should go join the BOMP :D

my creator king

2005-03-18T06:04:00.000-08:00

Creator King
Intro:l C F l C F l
Verse 1
C C/F G4
You who made the mountains and the sea
C C/F C/A C/G Fsus9
Measured out the universe and You made me
F/D F/C Csus/G Echoes of the voice that called worlds to be
Dm F/C Gsus4
Reached through the ages and now speak to me
F Gsus4 C
You're my Creator King
Verse 2
C C/F C/G
You who made the valleys and the skies
C C/F
Displayed Your love on far horizons
C/A C/G Fsus9
And before my eyes
Dm F/C G4
You who lit the stars and set the dawn in time
Dm F/C Gsus4 Fsus9
Called them all by name and now You whisper mine
Gsus4 C
You're my Creator King Verse 3
C C/F C/G
You who made the darkness and the light
C C/F C/A C/G Fsus9
Sun and moon to watch the day and guard my night
Dm F/C Gsus4
A hand that stretched the heavens like a canopy
Dm F/C Gsus4
Reaches down to cover and watch over me
Fsus9 Gsus4 C
You're my Creator King

CHORUS
Am Csus6/F C G Dm C/E F9
And who am I that You are mindful of me yeah
Am Csus6/F G F/D Csus9 F9
And who am I that You set Your love on me
Gsus6 C
You're my Creator King

Beautiful song isn't it? Levites camp was amazing. God was really doing a lot of work with us there... And it felt really good to come back to Him and get a new filling up... Shall I share a little extract of extravagant worship? Yes I shall... It's not about singing in the choir ( or playing in the band for that matter) We are there to worship God and we are going to be worshipping here forever and ever and ever. And the whole idea is that the people out there are worshipping. Not lookking at you, they are looking at Jesus. No matter where you are, whether you are on the platform, out the front being a backing singer, in the car park, or in in the congregation, you are there to worship Jesus. That really meant a lot to me because being in the band... sometimes I end up thinking about chords more than God... It's terrible isn't it? But this round's camp has really woken me up and brought me back to the heart of worship. And when I was worshipping there, I just cried and cried and cried knowing how much God really loved me, loves me and will love me :D God is wonderful, and He's been the best friend to me and I keep asking myself how good a friend I've been to my creator king and it's sad to know that I don't match up at all. But I'm trying. I'll continue trying my best to make Jesus smile every day :D

One way
Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

2005-03-12T10:52:00.000-08:00

2k run yesterday, 15k today then 3 hours of standing selling flags... Lots of lactic acid... I'm really really really sorry about missing training today... Argh I'm an idiot... Sorry... I miscalculated the length and time of the walk and we ended up stuck in the forest for longer than I intended... It was really fun and real pretty though... Trees are such glorious things don't you think? It's like they all have their own personality... And they all seem so patient and happy too... Of course there are those sad ones with no leaves... I saw this one today that had leaves that were completely bleached white... That was one of my favourite trees today :D Aimless aren't I? :D

Annabel didn't last very long... It's sad that she wilted so disastrously... Hey, how often do you get a pretty looking daisy that smells like a different dairy product everyday? :D Annabel's a nice name for a cow... If I had a cow I'd call her Annabel. I'm really getting aimless... Aimlesser and aimlesser... word of the day! :D

It's been a long night. Trying to find my way.
Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day.

Space debates have put me in an ultra trekkie mood :D

Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

THBT targs are the best

2005-03-04T07:53:00.000-08:00

the double bass sounds good... yup yup yup :D Here's to 4SE. Even if the music turns out wrong (AND IT WON'T!!!), it'll be funny :D Xiao Feng Jie and the Chinese Music Industry band! :D

Argh... The results came back... No matter what, I still thank God for them... I was just watching all the J1s getting their results back... And next year I don't want to be one who's crying... Who does any way... Hai... It's just scary how a silly slip of paper can influence part of your life to such a great degree. Os... ARGH.

2005-02-27T04:18:00.000-08:00

ARGH... WHY WHY must this happen? I wish the MOE would lose my script or something... They're probably going to leave me ungraded for oral... It was AWFUL! But then again, I'm getting back one paper and loads of other people are getting 9...

I don't feel better.

CHANGE SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, my wonderful, amazing band :D
They all rock SO much... My fingers are DYING cos the skin got burnt off but I don't care... Playing is worth it... The painful parts is the skin round your nails... On the sides and at the tip... It's all hard now, and if I squeeze it, it stays in that shape... Pain... But I can't help it, I must type... Yes. The band rocks. Josiah, Reuben, Pastor Linda... The groove is there... God is there :D I could just play and play and play every hour of the day... I was so upset getting transferred out of the old band, but hey, I still get to play with them after service is over... We did shout your fame and blessed be your name today :D Haha, and they let us use the band room to jam for an extra long time :D The most rewarding thing however is to see the kids worship... I know youth band is SO much more fun but that can wait til next year... They sang one way today :D IT WAS AMAZING. Sometimes, I think that I get too caught up with how things sound rather than really worshipping with all my heart, soul, strength and mind... I feel so awful everytime I suddenly realise I was looking at the chords more than the words. I need God to help me with this... I can't do it myself. AND THEN! Susan and Roger came down today to do band dynamics with us. I froze. CANNOT PLAY WITH HER STARING AT ME!!! ARGH. No, all for God. Not by might, not by power, but by the spirit of God.

ANOTHER TOPIC!
JGS R2
T2, once again, the crazed wabbit/dory/ whatever else, is DARN proud of all of you! You all put up a really hard fight and by your own definition you achieved excellence by surpassing your last performance. And t1, grace, suzie, yk, amanda, you all rock too... Really good show k! HERE'S TO ROUND THREE!!!

GO SC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The long awaited update :D

2005-02-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

JGs 2005 round 1 and NCS...
yes, this is late once again... But I'd really like my AMAZING team to know that I love all of you!!! You all are amazing... I'm really proud of you team 2. I mean, so what even if you all didn't win the first round... Doesn't matter as long as you all can pick yourselves up, accept it and move on. Hey, there's round TWO! :p
Haha... NCS... That was bad... But it's been a while since then so I don't feel too down about it now although I was quite upset about it then... Oh well... It's not like we're a lousy team, I don't know... We just mess up sometimes... hai... sorry to the last team that got us... We didn't give you all a good enough fight... Sorry...
BUT. BUT BUT BUT, the good thing is that things aren't over yet... Of course they aren't!!! There's still JGs and our little juniors are going for their first competition!!! And lots more invites too so... there's always hope.

SO, GO SC DEBATE!!! I KNOW WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER :p

THE SPORTS THING
Hmmm... I don't know what the school is doing now... They announce on the first day that we need to do sports CCAs but then they don't even bother about enforcing it... So I think I shall continue not bothering :D All the better for us. They seem to be making sec 1s do sports CCAs but they don't really care about the OLD ONES so well... we just shan't care about it :D

Ah... That's that... And my goodness... we haven't even done our seniors' farewell yet... and mel's all blacks teddy bear!!! Mel, so so so sorry... I promise you'll get hold of the bear soon... very very soon :D I was just thinking that we should take the ex seniors and ppl who left to the beach or something and just slack for farewell :D Or maybe we'll go cycling :D Haha... so fun...

2005-01-27T01:59:00.000-08:00

I know it's a little late to start blogging about invest now but I've really been quite busy with debate, homework, everything...
Right. Invest. INVEST!!! It rocked!!! I loved invest... I want to do it all again... I mean, it's pretty wasted if you just do invest ONCE after all the effort the whole board put into it... But I tell you... once was really really good already... It was so funny, dramatic, crazy and SCish!!! GO SCPB!!! Still high... even after 7 days... We rocked the school song... I'd have given ANYTHING to see ms heng's face but it was so unfortunate that she walked out the minute the whole thing ended to attend to the guests and all... K, there are loads of people I need to thank... PUBLICLY, cos I think I've thanked all of you personally already.

BC and D
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING THERE!!! Love you all :D I know how much trouble niece went to to come so thanks so much for that. All of you made my invest more special and meaningful than anything else could have.

E
That speech! OH MY GOODNESS... It was the best speech I've ever heard a head give in my whole life... Could really hear that you put your whole heart into it and that's what makes a good speech. How much heart you put into the thing... LOVE YOU SHARM!!!

THE SCPB BAND: meiyi, tiff, eunice, ee min, yuelin, lichoo, diana
MEIYI and TIFF (and the drumset no matter how constipated it sounds :D), you two are the BEST drummers ever! Thanks so much for playing SOFTLY so the ppl in the audi wouldn't go deaf, haha and tiff... must apologise about the speed of hope's there. haha :D couldn't be helped.
EUNICE and EEMIN (and their guitars. Eunice, I forgot what your guit's name is :D), Really loved the playing! Again, I apologise for all the plastered fingers, split skin and so on... haha :D the crazy chord changes and the F#m dim chord... :D Thanks for all the hard work!
YUELIN (and antonio :D): haha :D How many songs have I played with you already? haha :D Thanks for being such a hardworking violinist! Will always remember the days when I had a bow poking at my arm and I'd shout "yuelin! that's going to take someone's eye out..."
LICHOO (and her cello): AHH!!! You couldn't be there... But it's ok! We're going to record the songs, SO you get to play again!
DIANA (and the beautiful french horn): LATEST EDITION TO THE BAND, but you played really really well anyway... Only got the score the day before right? So you did excellently... :D My favourite instrument after the piano :D

SCPB: THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST INVESTITURE EVER! EVERYONE MADE IT GREAT AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR PUTTING YOUR HEART AND SOUL INTO INVEST. Always 57 of us behind you... AB INTRA.

It's the passion that comes from within...

To the debaters... Alright girls, this is it. It all begins here and we're going to make the most of it. We're quite a decent team, and I'm sure we'll make it this year. Remember the goal. Stay focused and bonded. Yes? yes.

You're never alone.
The team's always there for you.

All that we need to do be we low or high, is to see that we grow nearer the sky.

AB INTRA

2005-01-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

AB INTRA

SCPB is wonderful. Invest is wonderful... If you don't come, you'll never know what you're missing out on. Great story, great actresses, great props, great lighting and sound, great music, GREAT BAND!!!, great people. You'll see mad gurus, sweet evil people, air stewardessy evil people, french evil people, evil people with self esteem problems, an evil person with a bear, evil royal guards, a pretty girl called Lexi (means deliverer), 5 aMUSING muses, indian dances, prisoners, a strange godess, and a REALLY REALLY POSER BAND!!!

Here's to invest 2005!!!

We've got our new coaches :p wonderful thing that is... ha. And our seniors' farewell is still being planned. This is going to be the latest handover ever...

I understand that this is terribly out of point but have you ever seen an old couple dancing together? Ballroom dancing. Ya. I think it's really sweet and really... really nice :p

Anyhow back to more normal things. SRJC invites. You won't see sc there as a participating team. It's really sick. It was a silly snail mail problem. I should've tackled it sooner... We didn't even get the invitation til we asked for it and by then it was too late so we won't be there. No chance to even TRY to defend our title... UGH. Silly people... If a school doesn't reply, you at least try CALLING right? Or maybe an EMAIL? And if the teacher in charge doesn't get any invitation, she doesn't bother to ask. ya. But I suppose it's also my fault for not chasing them earlier... HAIIII...

OH!!! My wabbit is highly intelligent. He has learnt how to FORCE you to stroke him. He'll follow you EVERYWHERE and snuffle around at your feet til you can't take it anymore and bend down and put your hand on his head. Once you do this, he'll adjust his head and you are enslaved... hah. He'll squeeze his nose between two fingers and close his eyes and start to snuffle quietly... Then, you are REALLY enslaved cos you just can't go... He's SO ADORABLE... ha.

2005-01-04T03:53:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MY TEAM

SC DEBATE

THE COMMITMENT

SPIRIT

BONDING

CRYING

LAUGHING

TALKING

AND TALKING SOME MORE :p

PASSION

LOVE

AND

the friendship

yes. the FRIENDSHIP. That makes this wonderful team God's blessed me with. I really love all of them. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Such amazing girls :p Thank God for sc debate... DAN!!! thanks so much for the video!!! It's so wonderful I could cry... :p And laugh too... (maybe til I dislocate my jaw *wink* :p)

Anyone in sc and in sec one...

JOIN DEBATE!!!

Debate's not just a cca to me. It's so much a part of my life that I can't imagine myself living through secondary school without debate. When you join debate, you don't just join a cca, or a club, or a society.
You join a TEAM. A GREAT TEAM filled with the most hillarious and wacky people ever. Of course you've got to work but the thing about us is that we work together, whine together, succeed together and DEBATE together. That's what sc debate is all about. A few friends with one goal.
One bond.

and this time I'm not makin crap sound good. It really IS good.

TO THE TEAM...
ok. here are the research topics for the week: 1) nuclear -proliferation
-disarmament
-treaties
-please pay attention to
the cuban missile crisis
2) intervention

search like mad, separate into diff issues and truncate. TRUNCATE. can? good. mass email to everyone on sunday night. If it's not seen on everyone's comp by monday night... then you'll be subject to the mood of the treasurer (and we can all go out and buy cards)

poto

2004-12-28T08:25:00.000-08:00

haha :p had a lot of fun yesterday :p Thanks to EVERYONE who made it fun :p

GOD
Mr. A. L. Webber
Borah
Rice
Niece
Sharm (even though you couldn't be there)
Feli
Porthos
The Icelandic one

You all rock :p Really made my day! The whackiest bunch of people to hang out with :p

BCD!!! GOODNESS ME!!! It was really so nice sitting round with pizza and our mouths :p Talk and talk and talk... Been doing it since sec 1 and I don't think we'll ever stop :p SHARM!!! Always at training... so sad you couldn't make it...

Phantom of the Opera was a... grand show. I understood it better than the real opera. I really didn't get that one. I only remembered the dry ice and candles and a strange woman who could hit really really high notes. haha... Maybe it was because I was too young... But this show was not bad. Go for the music. It's got an EXCELLENT underscore. The voiceovers were done pretty seamlessly and I enjoyed it on the whole. It was dramatic but I didn't understand the characters... They all seemed schizo to me... hah :p JUST GO FOR THE MUSIC. It's worth it... The horns and string section... ah... You'll just close your eyes and smile... Mr Webber... Great job.

Feli! Great going out with you! Really thought you wouldn't come. For reasons known to you :p But do tell THE REASON that we did take good care of you k :p

Oh, porthos, I LOVED the present... I think I didn't tell you this explicitly enough... It 's wonderful... Going to be on my wall soon. It's lovely :p could never have bought me a better present. Thanks for keeping me entertained for the day :p Really enjoyed myself :p Same to the icelandic one. haha :p I win EVERYTHING! haha... And thanks to you two for the amusing experience called... world combat is that it? I WILL NEVER hold a gun in my life. It's not fun (i say primly) Actually I'm not sure... It was RATHER interesting. Haha... Thanks for forcing me to play. It was a good experience after all :p

Yesterday was seriously a good good good day :p Thanks again to EVERYONE who made it such a good day :p Must have more days like this before school starts... AH!!! We still have our second sleepover to go to right? I'm looking forward to it a lot! Except I'll have to endure...

HAPPY

for a whole day. If I don't get bitten, it'll just mean that Happy's a changed canine.

" are you icelandic or retarded?" I love that

"april cooked something and didn't kill herself!!!" Sharm, on my baking endeavours

"the fruitcake fell apart." -rice
"it's meant to what" -niece

"it was so saddd... when he looked at the monkey with the cymbals... I wanted to cry" regarding the saddest scene in the phantom of the opera

i just had a really wonderful time. Thank you ALL again!

the good day :D

2004-12-20T04:56:00.000-08:00

hahaha :D My mood is greatly improved. Had a group of wonderful people over to movie marathon and stone and just be... idiotic :D It was WONDERFUL. A BIG thank you to Dan, Jaz, YK and Suz for coming over k! You guys rock! Ah... And well, I do believe that I owe a few people apologies :D Alright. We were having fun... pranking people... HAR... Susannah's idea! It was quite brilliant. To the person who wants to play the piano... Har... Sorry k... We might have called at a bad time? Hai... Mrs Wu shall make more appearances :D

The debate gathering yesterday was pretty fun know... haha... saw a lot of people but the ones that I saw made me want to cry... I tell you. Those were the people who were such a part of my life and now that they're going, it hurts... MEL and STEPH ANN... Such wonderful juniors... All the rest are included too and I'm so glad I won't have to miss them til my graduation... AH!!! Keep next year far far away from me... I shall enjoy my hols to the greatest extent before... before. ya.
hai... I have not finished that silly book I'm meant to read. "xiang yue xing qi er". It's tuesdays with morrie in chinese... And the teachers conveniently forgot that the book was not available in Singapore and you had to go to China to get it... So I have decided NOT to read it. I'll manage to crap up some touching report about life and how we should live it. Moreover, the guy in the story DIES. I don't want to get all depressed... Not when it's Christmas. Always stay UP. UP UP UP UP UP! Your mouth must turn UP. Your mood must stay UP and you must grow UP. hahar :D Alright then...

AH!!! All sc debaters involved in the case relay. If you're looking at this, I'll assume you're just taking a break from research. I WANT CASES SWITCHED BY WEDNESDAY. All late ppl will have to make a donation to the club fund. Minimum donation will be let's say... one dollar? yes. SO GO RESEARCH.

SC *SCream* GS *SCream*

2004-12-17T08:15:00.000-08:00

Life is full of MAYBES. And I don't like most maybes. Especially negative maybes. Look at sc debate. It's so... maybe. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I didn't deserve to captain this team. Maybe we really suck. Maybe we could improve. Maybe we could try to win. Maybe.

Maybe.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost. I really do. There's no more time... I don't even want to think abt the debate at ac. I mean, it's really not funny at all.

HOW COULD YOU. I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW ON EARTH ANYONE IN THE RIGHT MIND COULD EVER TREAT A TEAM THAT WAY. YOU WANT TO HELP THEN HELP. PLEASE. I KNOW I'M GOING ALL PROTECTIVE OVER HERE BUT HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU? you broke them down. More than they ever needed to be. They know they have to improve and they didn't need any more of your nonsense. They really didn't.

I feel so lousy, and I'm so sorry to all of you. I need to tell the whole team that I'm so sorry... I should have been more sensitive... I'm so sorry to all of you. And at the same time I feel that I've let myself down. Ah, you wouldn't understand... I need time to adjust to all of this. No shirin, no ll, no zhiying, no andrea, no maysh, no jon. I miss jon so badly. I NEED jon back. He was such a wonderful coach... I loved jon's cases, I loved jon's attitude. I MISS JON. JON JON JON JON!!!
I pray for a good good coach... I'd give anything for a good coach.

BUT.
Through all this mess, we still have hope. Lots of it. We have our team spirit. Lots and lots of it. We can make it through the rain. I'll change for all of you. I promise that much and more. I'm going to give our senior's legacy as much as I can. We're going to make this work.

We'll do what sc has always stood for.

not THE best

OUR best.

Go sc.

We'll give our best.

Thank you so much. You know who you are. "We fall, we hurt, but that's how we get better" And you're right. We ARE trying and it WILL work out in time...

I am a DEBATER, not a sportswoman

2004-12-14T01:52:00.000-08:00

Do you have any idea what has just happened? We have to join TWO CCAs now. Any one in a club or society has to become SPORTY. I don't mind watching sports, playing HERE AND THERE but a CCA!? Ms Heng's just trying to turn SC into a female version of AC. NOOOO!!! I want to dedicate ALL my time for CCAs to debating. That's all I want to do! Not badminton or netball or anything else like that. I mean if you make me play when I WANT to that's ok. Now they're forcing us to join silly ccas which we won't even get points for, don't feel any sense of belonging to, don't have the passion for and plain wouldn't join if not forced. I promise I'll jog in my own time but I DO NOT want to pack myself with a second BIG CCA. HEY, invest is taking up a lot of time already (it's worth it cos I'm doing something I love), debate is going to be so packed next year and I want to give SC debate my all and now they're introducing this silly new scheme. I do not want to spend every afternoon in school. Debate training is going to increase and I have no time to stay in school on other days to do SPORTS which I have no passion for. UGH. Why don't they make sports persons join societies too? I tell you it'll be good for them too on the same grounds that they're making us join sports ccas. They want all rounded? FINE. Make it so accross the board.

Hai... I'm just being annoyed I suppose. Just think it's unfair... Hai... Maybe we'll be able to prove that the sports thing really won't work next year then they'll be forced to do away with it :p All of us are planning to join badminton cos it's the most slack of the sports CCAs. Hai... I ask you how it's going to work if we're all joining the most slack cca? Badminton will overflow with ppl... SORRY SHARM :p Maybe we can train during sports cca time (case set or something)... That's an idea hmmm? :p ALRIGHT. I'm going to try to approach this with an open mind and see how it all goes. I must be optimistic about it no matter how HARD it is. ACK.

2 hrs and caffeine

2004-12-12T09:08:00.000-08:00

well... here I am again. Sleepover at sharm's place was really fun!!! 7am to 9am... not bad not bad :D Sharm really knows how to order food cos we really had a very good dinner and it lasted us til lunch too... Oh, and thanks to sharm for the early christmas present... it's really hillarious :D Your presents are more hillarious yes? haha... it was Borah's idea! The one that came in a set that is :D I really have to thank 4 of you for everything... you all rock!

2004-12-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

Hai...

What can I say about today's spar? Sorry. Sorry Sorry especially about the silly lunch mess up... NEVER order macs by phone. It's just not a very wise thing to do when you're looking for FAST food for lots of people. If we ever do this again, I think we should chase everyone out for lunch, one school to KAP, one to coro, one to Waffletown, one to serene centre... Yup, that would have been more efficient (like the borg). Macs phone service is AWFUL. "hold on" is probably the replacement of "I'm lovin' it". Hai...

I think I need to apologise to cat high on behalf of my team... Sorry about the... financial mess. AH... SC'd also like to thank you all for being... gallant? and helping us foot some of the bill... THANKS SO MUCH.

For strategic reasons, I shall not disclose anything about our debriefs here. HAH! Aren't we sneaky? yes yes yes... :D ah... I'm being crappy and aimless. This calls for stoning time :D bye bye.

my hols

2004-12-03T09:13:00.000-08:00

VJs are over and I suppose I'm getting over it... ya, I'm better now. The only awful things are the spars going on now and the team obviously is not at full strength with our regular 3rd speaker missing. When she's back I'm sure things will look much brighter for us. Actually things are already pretty bright :D Oh well, just me being silly.

This is meant to be holiday month correct?

It isn't.

I've spent almost every day of my hols in school or in other schools. Hai... It's getting quite tiresome and I think I'm suffering from deprivation of stoning... Ugh... I need time to do nothing and today was great. The only day I wasn't doing something purposeful in school. Not that having a purpose is a bad thing, but it's neccessary for good mental health to be a bit... lazy sometimes. When you feel "headachy" then you're fully charged up, cos your body can't take anymore stoning and that's a very very good sign :D Well, I feel good now :D

Ah, I believe this is the time to talk about the five day week. Now tell me, how many of us REALLY get called back for lots and lots of lessons on saturdays? CCAs are a different story, but lessons. Now even if we ARE called back it's not for a very long time is it? It's also not on a regular basis yes? The five day week has turned into an excuse for our school to extend curriculum time. School hours have increased and they release us early on ONE day of the week, and it's not like they release us early enough to make up for the extra time. The hours are not equitable any more... On the official letter they say that we'll be let off CCAs at 6pm the latest. Oh how lovely. We ARE already end training at that kind of time so with school extended by over an hour, what time do you think our CCAs will end? Think about the poor uniform group people with foot drills and all... They stay in school for so long on saturdays and I think they enjoy what they do and now I think that making them do the same things after a full day of school just kills the fun. Goodness, I don't think they'll get home for dinner the way things are going. So stupid... I should really have brought it up at the education conference thing. Hai... What can we do now? No one will have any of it so we just live on under the thumb of the ministry.

I really had to say that :D Publicly. I think that with enough support we could bring this up to the school and really have something done about it, get involved in the way our education is going yes?

ain't no stoppin' us now

2004-11-28T07:55:00.001-08:00

Oh well. We just got knocked out of the VJ invitational debates. I'm probably expected to be calm, gracious and accepting of all this but it's not easy. I'm sore, sore for my wonderful team, sore for lucas and all the hard work he's put in and sore for the seniors who's shoes we have to fill. We keep losing on technicalities and I'm thoroughly sick of it. We're going to double up our efforts, and I don't care if we have to train every day, we're not going to lose on that ever again. Team SC, I promise we're going to start fulfilling our onus as a prop or an opp, we'll fulfill our onus to our school and our onus to ourselves.

JGs 2005. yes JGs 2005. JGs 2005.

I felt so lousy that day, not that I'm feeling a lot better now. I started blaming myself and I really wanted to cry but I reminded myself of Naz's advice. No crying after a debate. Then, I started blaming myself and I felt rotten about everything. Now, I remember that once (shirin's or zhiying's year) someone said that the most selfish thing a captain could do was to take all the blame. I'm not going to repeat that mistake. We lost together. We stick in this together. We'll cry together and we'll laugh together.

After the sun the rain, after the rain the sun.

Well, this defeat has served its purpose. We're going to use it as a stepping stone, an impetus to move towards something better. SC debate is going to rise above its present status. I have faith in God, faith in our team's wonderful bond and the brains of our girls. We're passionate, we're committed, we're committed, we're willing to work hard, and we're BONDED.
6 girls
1 bond
1 goal
You know, SC debate, that's always been the strong point of this team, our BOND. We stick by each other no matter what. We can make it big. This bond can get us through anything. Let's not lose faith. I can see it already in the way all of you are so eager for more training. All we need to do is our best. I'm sure our best will emerge with more training.

All that we need to do be we low or high is to see that we grow nearer the sky.

There are some things I really need to say.

LUCAS: you were the coach we didn't have. We owe you so much. So so much. Thanks for sticking with us for this competition, for the encouragement, the comfort. AC debate people, you are so blessed. Hai... nice working with you :p

SC SENIORS: Sorry. Sorry. We tried.

MY TEAM: I love you all. I'm proud of you.
DAN: Like I said, you rock la. Such a big heart, God rewarded you didn't he? :p
The team member any captain could ever wish for (eh, I still owe you dinner) You are so passionate about debate even though you've not been here as long as the rest.
YK: you were sick, yet you still came. What more can I say? Thank you.
KRISTI: Man, there's no way we'll ever let library take you away from us!!!
JAZ: You took almost all the stress of a 3rd on yourself. You're an amazing 3rd. You're such a sweet girl too. Hey, sweet and sharp and mean is a lethal combination :p
LIZ: You're the youngest and you are so rock as a speaker, it's scary. Keep that fiest and passion going for the teams of 2006-2007 when all of us will be gone...

I only have one thing left to say.

Yellow and green are our SC school badge
Ain't nobody gonna be our match
Don't mess around with SCGS
Cos we're gonna do our best

SCGS SC GS

I wish I could be like Janeway...

2004-11-27T01:52:00.000-08:00

I just did something that's going to be etched in my memory forever. I made a call as to who would be out of the team today and I know the decision made dan cry. I chose team dynamics and the preservation of feelings over all else. I don't even know if it's the right decision... Ya fine, in front of everyone I probably seemed pretty cool and calm in making the call but inside I'm going round and round. I'm actually debating with myself just that there are loads of propositions all proposing different motions and all thinking of which motion is the better one, and the debate goes really circular. The only rebuttals are cases and the only cases are rebuttals. Ugh, I don't know how to explain but I've got a headache as a result and I don't think it can be compared to how dan feels but I can assure you I feel pretty bad. Ah, I'm being confusing. Just needed to take a break and make some things clear.

1. Dan not preping with us for today doesn't mean that she's less good than anyone involved in prep

2. Neither does my saying that mean that Kristi's any less good than anyone else in prep.

3. The rationale behind my decision was team dynamics and a really nice friend with a big heart.

4. The decision was purely my own so no one else is to be blamed.

I feel pretty lousy now and well, I have to thank a few people for making me feel less lousy.
DAN DEAR
you rock la... you really do. You're the best friend anyone could have, you're also the best team member any captain could have and lastly, you're the best junior any senior could have

LUCAS
thanks for all the support and the nice story at the end. It really helped. Really and well, you've been the most understanding and committed. (if we win this, we owe it to you)

SC VJ TEAM (ALL 6 OF YOU)
you are a great team and well as far as bonding is concerned you are all really tight. like a big clock (incredibles :D) and well, I thank God for you as my team. You supported my decision and I'd really like to thank all of you for that. I'd also like to apologise for the stupid glitch with the registration. I should've checked it earlier. God bless all of you and I'm sure we can make it tomorrow!

2004-11-20T08:08:00.000-08:00

I'm here! I've realized that msn is actually quite fun :D Thanks to Rice for helping me get msn :D You was truly beings very very patient... Thanks rice!

And Dan darling! Thank you too! Cos you were so nice and patient with me for msn... I'm rather computer illiterate and you were so nice... I pay you back with more pictures k!

Niece... I miss our crazy conversations! You in NZ means one less person to talk rubbish with... Hai... And you are making me very very jealous... you are so close to the ALL BLACKS!!! I want a present.

Today I had fun... Service today was really good. "From this day on, I will bless you". Everyone remember that k! God loves you and since it's His nature to bless you, He will. All we have to do is accept :D And I'd also like to encourage anyone who thinks they can't hear God speaking to them to press on because He really does speak to people. Just have the patience to wait and yup, you'll definitely hear Him if you're serious about it. The sec 4s in our cell are very hyper now, and I feel so happy for them :D

Hmmm... It's getting late now so I believe I must go... Bye bye :D

HAHAHA

2004-11-17T06:31:00.000-08:00

Guess what? Rice is a kind person and she has helped me to change the colour of the words :p I thank rice and give her some space to express herself: hello! april is finally being grateful. rice helped her. therefore rice is good. this is only fair to me. april is lousy. her lousy comp keeps doing bad stuff to me. bleah. horrible horrible comp. grr. rice is good. that is all. haha. this is the one and only chance april will let me say this on her blog because she is now temporarily indebted to me. muahahaha.hahahahahha. good.

there are still inherent problems with blogger...

2004-11-15T08:01:00.000-08:00

1. I can't change the colour of my words

2. I can't change the size of my words

3. I can't change the font.

4. Any punctuation mark comes out funny...

Therefore, I have decided to get help changing the template. I do not think blogger has resolved the problem completely. I'm annoyed... I'm going to get help with this... KRISTI!!! I accept your offer to help me with the template. But make sure it's light enough to take words that are black cos the silly thing can only type out BLACK words... UGH... I think I shall start answering tags...

PAUL, LUCAS, whoever else that wants to be linked: Hey hey :p Alright... Give me a while, and I shall link you... :p

RICE: Oh Goodness... I'm really so happy... Thanks for all the offers to help me blog

Alethia: OOh... You found me yes? sorry so stagnant, and could I have my bio book back?

Porthos: hey there... I'm back on the blog again! live long and prosper

Mel, Jaz, Stephann, YK, Kristi, All other darling debate juniors: AWWW... You found me yes? :p haha... Debate camp's been fun ya? sorry mel... I'll link you all now that I can BLOG again :p And thaks for all the help offered :p I accept

DEBATE CAMP
Oh my goodness :p it's really been great but not as much kick in it as there was in the june camp... Oh well, things are like that aren't they? STILL, I think the camp was SMASHING :p Congrats to the AC db8 organising comm. It was really quite well planned... Ah... Also, SENTOSA was the best thing... It's a pity I didn't take a picture of the flag... AWWW... It's sad... Operation FITS ( Feli In The Sand) worked really well ya? *winks at building persons and feli and auggie* It was really fun and feli, if you read this, I'm sorry if the sand hurt your legs... But the end was all worth it wasn't it? *GRIN* :p Ahahaha... I remember, a lot of groups got stuff stuck in trees... eg. shoes, umbrellas... :p But come on, it was all in good fun yes? :p I love SENTOSA! 3 whole days of debating, bridge, the company of debaters, screaming boys (note the irony), bad debates but lovely juniors, laughing, fun, trying to say "whatever", bimbotic walking and talking, and most important of all, the nuttiest group of wonderful people... DB8 camp has been an overall success :p And cow, josh, auggie and the rest of the exco, you guys did well k :p the camp made those 3 days all the more fun and eventful for me :p

INVEST
Oh no oh no oh no... It's coming so soon... SO SOON! January... AH... How? No inspiration for the music yet... Ah... But this round, we'll have a band :p This will be so fun, even through the stress, I think I know that I'll be doing something I really enjoy... MUSIC is a wonderful thing... Invest will be made wonderful, so everyone, come to SC INVEST 2005! We promise a touching story, GREAT music, and nice people :p

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

2004-11-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

I’m feeling really wonderful now because blogger has finally resolved the stupid problem of not being able to blog!!! This is great! But any how, there is now SO much to blog about so I’m going to start with DEBATE CAMP first :p But first, I’ve got to check that the colour of the words comes out right… wait…

IT'S WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-15T07:44:00.000-08:00

I CAN BLOG!

My first post :p

2004-11-01T19:50:00.000-08:00

I am here for the first time, isn't this fun? hahahaha :p I finally have my own blog! I must thank Rice for helping me along. She managed to mispell many things however, I still must express my utmost gratitude to her :p she refuses to say "you're welcome".

Today, after a long and arduous wait for a good long rest, that we've been waiting for for eons, the chinese os are OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rice is here. [hurry up!!!!!!] I'm just being thorough.

I will write more in the time to come,